My Life With God

MY Life With Lord

Monday, September 18, 2006

I am so sad. Distressed. Pissed. Suddenly, I feel that life had never been so bad, it seems as though everything had stopped. Why is this so? It is painful, being deprived of playing computer. I have no leisure, no hobby, no good friends, no nothing! I cant do what I wanted to do. Why is my mother so strict as compared to others? Why cant I play my maple, why cant I listen to pop songs, why cannot jay chou or JJ, what is wrong with them? So what if they sing love songs, cannot meh? Like wat eli said, one who does not know the way to love is pathetic. Why confiscate my mp3 because of this and ask me to delete all. I have never been so sad!
Some more say I must get 70% for each subject before I can play barely 30mins a day only in the holidays. I suddenly realized that there is no point studying then. Why study only because of the computer, there is no point! And this is so damn difficult! Remember this is RV ok not neighborhood school, the standard very high u know. 70% is extremely difficult for me. All because of maple, I lost friends. They dislike me just because I am a maple noob or they don’t find interest in talking to me just because I cant play maple or golden sun. Why is this so? I feel so bad! I realized that I have no one to talk to or turn to, some even left me in the pig sty. OMG! Pls help me lord, I have never been so lonely! But why are my results so bad that it did not reach the school’s standard. I cant play maple, I dont sleep all day, I don’t slack, I study hard, I don’t copy work from friends…… But why are my results so bad? U see Vic he claims that he does not study much and I definitely study harder than him and longer also, but his results are 10% more than me. Why is this so? What is so bad about me? Am I stupid or wat or am I just dumb! Why is this so? Why my intelligence so lan? I am very sad because of this. I cant live like a normal teenager, why is everyone so different from me? I am talking about including my church mates and friends! I am utterly annoyed! I don’t even have my own leisure time. Once I take out my guitar, I didn’t even play for a whole 15 mins my mothers starts to say: “why u every day play song?” ( angry tone). Now I ask u why cant I, why is it that my life is so miserable? Guitar also cannot ah? Some leisure also cannot is it? God wants me to get whatever I should get, but why I don’t seem to get it. Why is it that I have to study and study, life is not made of studying. Why I don’t have good friends? Why is everyone giving me that attitude? Why is it that my mother does not understand me? Life has never been so bad for me? Pls help me my Lord, carry me through just like how u did in the footprints in the sand.
One day Kah hoe said something which I can feel that it is like a dagger piercing deep into my heart, it is painful. It is not his fault I know, but because of myself, he said: “ yeah! I now can play maple twice a week!” It hurts me badly, I cant even play once or even a single second and my science results is better than his. Victor also adds into the depth of the dagger by saying, “ I can play maple anytime I want” His results both is worse than mine but I cant even gat to see a person playing maple or other games.
I could have played at others house, I could have went to LAN shop, I could have played secretly in the night just like Huali, I can do anything if I really want to play maple, no one can stop me not even my mother this time. But I why did I do that? Why didn’t I? I tried all my best to be good and honest but what kind of treatment I get from my mother or others? Why did I get? Many people in my church have been praising me, they even asked my mother how she taught me. But is that what I get for being good, is it that I have to be bad in order for any one to appreciate me. I have nothing much to say liao, say so much also no use, mother will end up saying no. so whats the point? I onli hope that the Lord will listen to my prayers and help me, that’s it. Life has never been so bad for me! But at least it could be worse!

. Chicken Little wrote. `@ 9:48 PM

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Puff The Magic Dragon

PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,

Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal PUFF,

and brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff.

OH PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,

PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.
Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on PUFF's gigantic tail,

Noble kings and princes would bow when'er they came,

Pirate ships would lower their flags when PUFF roared out his name

OH, PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.

A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And PUFF that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain,
PUFF no longer went to play along the cherry lane.

Without his life-long friend, PUFF could not be brave,
So PUFF that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave.

Oh! PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee

MY Life With Lord

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